Tag Archives: psychology

What do Olympic losses and business success have in common?

I adore reading autobiographies and stories about Olympic-caliber athletes. The sport doesn’t matter: short track speed skating, swimming, gymnastics, curling, tennis, etc.

I comb through their books, looking for answers to these questions:

When the pressure was on, and you “failed,” how did you maintain your confidence for the remainder of the competition? During your next competition? And how did you prevent it from causing long-term regret?

You see, I’m more interested in how someone recovers from a mistake than the details of their training routines. You might say I have a fascination with their “non-clutch” behaviors.

At the world-class or Olympic level of competition, the athletes usually have the same quality of body type and physical training as their competitors.

As many such athletes and coaches have stressed, it’s the mental preparation and emotional intelligence that make the difference.

Likewise, it’s the same “ability to recover from ‘failure'” that will determine the long-term success of distributors in our profession.

The stakes may feel as crucial: If this person doesn’t sign up, I won’t qualify for this month’s leaderboard. If I miss my month-end-production level, I’ll lose a rank.

Those situations are important milestones in a distributor’s business. (Did you think I was going to tell you otherwise?)

And when disappointment sets in, how do you handle it? How long do you stay out of the game? How long do you let the experience deflate your confidence?

If you have access to Netflix, I suggest you watch a few episodes of the newly-released “Losers.” If you’re anything like me, you’ll appreciate the behind-the-scenes discussions of the courageous athletes who tell their not-so-glamorous stories.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

P.S. I receive no compensation of any type for mentioning Netflix or its programs.

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #trsc #olympics #loser #success #directsales #leveragedsales #partyplan #mlm #networkmarketing #leaderboard #netflix #clutch #nonclutch

What does boredom cause?

Note: If you are struggling with perpetual defeating thoughts such as”why is everyone so happy” or “they would be better off without me,” please call your medical doctor or visit an hospital emergency room immediately. These thoughts sometimes get stronger and more unbearable around the end-of-year holidays. I may not know you in person, but I assure you that You Matter In This World.  –LS

 

Today I spotted a blog entry regarding boredom, claiming it is a direct cause of depression and suicide. I’m a long-time reader of his work, and he’s no stranger to bold yet thoughtful statements, most of which I respect because of the critical thinking skills he applies in developing them. Today I definitely disagree with his viewpoint. Here are the comments I posted.

“I disagree about boredom as a cause of depression or suicide. Clinical depression and suicidal thoughts are symptoms of an urgent medical situation, and I urge people experiencing those to seek a medical doctor or an emergency room for help, immediately.

When people are perpetually bored, that typically signals being in a rut. I agree that introspection can be helpful in discovering what one truly wants out of life, and those discoveries can uncover some uncomfortable realizations about one’s past decision-making and behavior.

However, for the person who is experiencing suicidal thoughts or clinical depression (not a mild ‘down in the dumps’), self-introspection can easily lead to rumination, which makes the situation worse. The therapist’s job includes guiding the introspection and logical thinking in ways that dig deep yet keep the person’s mind from being a weapon turned against oneself. The very process of therapy typically includes examining every belief one has. (I use the word ‘typically’ here, because there are many modes of psychotherapy.)

I don’t think public speaking is truly people’s number one fear.

Deep introspection is.

Only the brave attempt it, either on their own or with a therapist. Only the bravest make the changes it indicates.”

If you are examining your path in any aspect of your life, I send you strength and courage.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #trsc #depression #suicide #suicidalthoughts #seekmedicalhelp

 

 

 

 

The type of hardness

I believe in hard work, and my ability to do it. –Dara Torres, Medalist in 5 Olympic Games

Do you have a love-hate relationship with “hard work”?

In which way is it “hard”: mentally? emotionally? physically? spiritually?

Regardless of the type of hardness, if I resist it, I get worn down mentally and emotionally.

As my husband sometimes says, “The dread is typically worse than the deed.”

For me, I more willingly do “hard work” when one or more of these is possible:

  1. I recognize that it leads directly toward my goals
  2. I can choose the method, sequence, location, or timing for the work
  3. I see a short-term reward or vividly imagine a long-term benefit that will please ME
  4. The “hard work” will reduce stress immediately afterward, or create a long-term reduction in stress
  5. I’ve had some fun (play a game for a set amount of time, exercise, watching a video) before I begin, and the ability to do something fun immediately afterward ( I call this the “Fun Sandwich” approach)
  6. I set a timer (or count aloud) to see exactly how long it really takes. I race the clock or simply celebrate that it “only took x number of minutes” (It’s weird, but it works for me!)

Which of the conditions are important for you?

Which aspects can you incorporate into your business and personal life?

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #thetypeofhard #daratorres #olympics #funsandwich #mlm #leveragedsales #partyplan #directsales #entrepreneur #networkmarketing

Coaching the cruel voice

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

You said you were going to send 3 texts every day… but you failed! Now you need to do SIX tomorrow, to stay on track.

You didn’t enroll a customer/distributor this week! And you made a goal to do that!!

You’ve worked for HOW MANY months and haven’t been able to retire? How many people did you ask, who told you “no”? Maybe you’re not cut out for being a business owner.

Goals are typically prods to help us stay focused on the business-building opportunities.

When does the prodding become cruel?

When it ignores the good stuff. When it pooh-pooh’s the steps we DID take in the right direction. When it applies a self-defeating label whose adhesive seems impossible to fully remove.

That voice only cares about perfection … and it has derailed untold numbers of leaders-in-the-making.

Sometimes the voice comes from people whom we thought we could count on. And more importantly, sometimes it comes from within us and its hurtful barbs reverberate inside our heads.

As leaders of our teams, we have to teach our distributors how to tame their destructive mental voices, if we want them to look inward for support and rely less on what the world advises.

I stumbled upon this article today. If we bear in mind that it assumes nonviolent relationships with mentally stable people, it has some fabulous insights for talking to and coaching our teammates. It’s also applicable for the distributor who is struggling with this destructive inner voice … or encounters the same hurtful tone from their current group of friends and family.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

P.S. If you are in, or suspect you are in, a business or social relationship with a person who demonstrates or threatens violence toward you, please contact a mental health professional or trusted law enforcement agent immediately.

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #coaching #coachingthecruelvoice #goals #labels #leadership #teams #leveragedsales #networkmarketing #partyplan #mlm #residuals

Does “clutch” exist?

“Clutch!” proclaimed the Olympics sports announcer from the arena in Brazil.

He just finished watching two USA women’s gymnasts perform their “Event Finals” routines in the Floor Exercise. This was the final competition for the Women’s Artistic Gymnastics at the Rio Olympics.

While many of their competitors made “beginner’s errors” or messed up skills they had c0nsistently performed earlier in the Games, Alexandra Raisman and Simone Biles kept calm and performed their routines without the mistakes commonly attributed to overwhelming mental pressure. Such players are referred to as a “clutch” in the world of sports.

In team sports such as baseball and American football, players with the “clutch” reputation are frequently brought into a game near the end, when many players begin making mistakes because of the increased pressure to win the game. “Clutch” players seem to perform as well, or even better, when the mental pressure is high.

I recognized their routines– that was the third time Ms. Biles performed the same routine in the final rounds for Team, All-Around, and Apparatus Events. On video I also watched her SAME routine from performances earlier in the year. Same effects with Ms. Raisman. The announcers echoed my thoughts, reinforcing the observation these WERE the same routines performed many times this competition season, and in fact the ladies performed them “better each time.”

What makes a “clutch”? Is it something they’re born with?

While the judges were calculating the score, I reflected on my knowledge of the “Clutch” phenomenon.

Last year I read the book “Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Doing Your Best When It Matters Most” by Hendrie Weisinger and J.P. Pawliw-Fry.

The authors claim “clutch” doesn’t exist.

Their research shows the players who perform well under pressure also perform well when the pressure is minimal.

In other words, “clutch” players are consistent performers who have the mental toughness to reduce or ignore the self-defeating thoughts that lead to errors.

The announcer’s comments support the authors’ conclusions.

Ms. Biles and Ms. Raisman performed the same routines with increasing confidence. I’m sure “body memory” adds to the confidence, because if one has performed a routine many times it becomes almost second-nature.

A more accurate term for “clutch” is “consistent.”

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

P.S. Congratulations to all athletes participating in the Rio Olympics, including #Love4GabbyUSA

#lynnselwa #lynnselwaTRSC #TheRocketScienceCoach #networkmarketing #clutch #doesclutchexist #gymnastics #Rio2016 #olympics #olympicgames #riogames #networkmarketing #partyplan #directsales #residualincome #residuals #alyraisman #simonebiles

 

The untested laughter

A few months ago  my husband and I attended a stock-trading seminar.

We sat in the front row. (I’m a “front row” type of person. Good thing, because the scheduler squeezed us into that session, and those were the only empty chairs.)

Along with the technical knowledge our instructor was explaining, he touched on something most of my classmates found amusing.

In fact, nearly everyone in the room started laughing with disbelief, jeering the instructor’s startling comments. Meanwhile my husband and I sat silently, nodding our heads in agreement with the instructor.

What did he say?

He looked at the classroom with a grave expression on his face. “When the market conditions line up with your trading plan, many of you won’t place the trade. Why? Because people let their fear get in the way. For this reason we have a psychologist on staff, to help people through that hesitancy.”

I was impressed with the instructor, who stayed calm while most of his students were obviously of a differing opinion. He did gently insist that scenario happens, and it can be a huge block to their success.

Also, I was intrigued. That hesitation sounds similar to what many potential distributors experience.

I leaned over to whisper in my husband’s right ear: “The strongest mind wins.”

He agreed.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #lynnselwaTRSC #TheRocketScienceCoach

#networkmarketing #mlm #directsales #residualincome

#stocktrading #TheUntestedLaughter