Tag Archives: handling fear

Real or echo?

In our profession, we deal with fear on a daily basis. The potential distributor’s fear of the unknown, our fear of rejection. Their fear of not paying the mortgage, our fear of not getting paid.

How much fear is caused by current-moment, accurately-assessed risk?

And how much of it is due to your brain saying, Hey, this reminds me of the last time you… and it didn’t turn out very well  ?

In the second case, fear is simply an echo. When you face it over and over, it fades away… and that reconditions your brain to say, Hey, this reminds me of the last time you … and it worked like a charm!

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #trsc #realormemory #fearisanecho #leveragedsales #networkmarketing #directsales #partyplan #mlm

Fear, tension, and success

I was inspired by a recent post by thought leader Seth Godin regarding fear and tension.

He talks about fear as a fast and easy way to create obedience.

In comparison, Seth describes tension as the process of questioning and taking a leap of faith: Will this work? Who will I become if I succeed? And, more importantly, how tension is required in learning a new skill.

“The tension we face any time we’re about to cross a threshhold.”  I adore that observation.

Fear and tension play a large role in our network marketing businesses, too. Each has its place in the business journey.

The fear of missing out. The fear of what would happen if you lost your job. The fear of a mid-life crisis confronting the “waste” of many productive work years.

Many times we independent representatives present our businesses as the solution to all three.

Sometimes fear is the kick in the pants that people need to take that leap and join your team.

But fear can backfire, too. The trainer at the front of the room who says “bring a guest or don’t show up next time.” The sponsor who berates the rep with, “You should be working harder.” Fear’s motto is “My way or the highway.”

I think of fear as a sharp stick. You’ll get an immediate reaction, typically a visceral one of pain, when you use it. Some so-called leaders get a thrill out of that dynamic. But you’re thrusting that stick… and many people move aside or back away to avoid it… eventually.

In a confined environment such as a job or within the military, the stick can be a powerful motivator. But not so much with a “volunteer army” situation like network marketing.

Representatives in your organization don’t have to sit in the audience at your meeting. They don’t have to move at the speed you want. They can continue representing the company until they decide to resign, or the corporate compliance department boots them out for violations of Policies and Procedures.

On the other hand we have the rubber band of tension.

Who we are as a company and where we’re headed. (and you can join us on the journey). Imagining oneself receiving phone calls and congratulations for attaining the next rank. Encouragement by increasing the newbie’s confidence. The leader dumps her knowledge into the other person’s brain, as many times as it takes, and gives pep talks along the way. It’s typically a slower process.

I visualize the effect of tension as a strong rubber band, stretching and relaxing. I step one pace along the journey, and the band stretches. Then you step toward me, and the band goes limp again. Repeat.

Fear: You should be like me. You need to do it. But I won’t let you be better than me. And I will keep you at arm’s length to protect myself.

Tension: You could be like me. You can do it. I will applaud when you surpass me. Here, take my hand and let me assist you.

Each distributor requires a unique blend of fear and tension along the journey. Be aware of which technique you’re using.

And remember, fear creates pain and an initial shove, while tension creates trust and a long-lasting bonded team.

Choose wisely.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #TheRocketScienceCoach #networkmarketing #partyplan #directsales #residualincome #leadership #fear #tension #volunteerarmy

 

 

The bridge from referral partner to “all-in”

“This looks great, but I don’t have time to build a business. I will refer people to you.”

Hesitation. Hedging. Delaying.

Rarely will people tell you what’s REALLY on their minds.

A response like that typically arises because the person isn’t sure if they can do what you just did. “Can I do that presentation?” is a common unspoken question.

Try saying something like this, respectfully and warmly.

“Most people who want to be a referral partner are simply unsure if they can do this presentation. If I gave you guidance and coached you as you contacted the first several people and helped you do the first few presentations, would you be more confident in building a large team?”

If they say Yes… hold up your end of the bargain.

If you are separated by large physical distances, you can do 3 way telephone/Skype calls to be “virtually present” for those actions.

Assist them. Don’t do it FOR them.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #lynnselwaTRSC #TheRocketScienceCoach #MLM #networkmarketing #thebridge #referralpartner #allin #residualincome

Switch the focus

How do you get rid of fear?

The scene: hospital waiting room. Television on.

A maintenance worker steps into the room and stands, watching the news broadcast, waiting for the weather report.

I paraphrase my colleague’s point of view:  “I wanted to approach him, to ask him an icebreaker question and open a conversation about this business. Fear silenced me, and after he left the room, I was angry with myself for remaining silent. I’ve been a distributor for nine years, and I can’t seem to move past the paralyzing fear. Help!”

My personal observation is… when fear comes up, it generally comes from focusing on oneself. (Blog Reader, do you agree?) And fear tends to be diminished by “depersonalizing” the activity: focus on what the other person will gain, focus on “being robotic” by simply dialing the call and thereby”earning” the right to check off that activity, focus on “I get a STICKER for asking the icebreaker question, regardless of what you say!”  To diminish fear, somehow move the focus away from one’s emotions.

The advice I gave:

When you feel fear or hesitation, it comes from focusing on what YOU can “get.”
Switch the focus to what this business can do for them, and it will be easier to approach people.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #lynnselwaTRSC #TheRocketScienceCoach #networkmarketing #fear