Category Archives: LYnn’s Stories

Build the friendship

Yesterday I was driving and wondering whom I should call, just to say hi.

“Joy K.” was my brain’s answer. She is a distributor in my company, but not in my organization.

I pushed the earbud into my right ear and voice-dialed the call.

She was in the grocery store when I reached her. And she was pleasantly startled to hear from me.

“You made my day!” was one of her comments.

Readers, remember that the people IN your company are part of your network. What are you doing to create friendships and trust within your company? Even though you are “competitors,” you also have a common cause to spread the word about your company.

If your company policies allow it, I challenge you to reach out just to say hi and build a friendship with a distributor who is NOT in your organization… some one from whom you receive no income from their activities.

If you are not allowed to do that. then reach out in friendship to a distributor in your organization whom you rarely talk with… perhaps someone 2 or 3 layers deep in your team. You might not seem like a big deal to yourself, but to them you are likely That Famous Person They Only See In Their Genealogy Or Hear On A Conference Call.

And whomever you talk to, avoid talking about business. Ask them what event they are looking forward to this summer, their favorite summer food, what movie they’ve seen lately. See if you can find some social-life common ground.

Build the friendship. It just might make their day.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #crosspollination #appreciation #buildthefriendship

Can I touch it?

An exasperated sigh. The dull thunk of a pen tossed onto a thick stack of paper.

My head snapped up as I watched fingers dart through the meticulously combed rills of Mikey’s dark brown hair, then his head leaned backward and out of sight.

His office chair creaked as I stood up to see better.

“What’s happening?” I quizzed my engineering mentor across the orange cubicle wall.

“Lynn, these numbers are swimming in front of my eyes. I can’t make sense of why this trajectory keeps crashing. I think I need a break.”

I nodded in agreement.

It felt good to stand and stretch. We were putting in long hours preparing a proposal for a new satellite launch, so Mikey was under some pressure to make the mission succeed. As an engineering intern, I was assigned to prepare some of the graphs that would be included in the overhead projector slides.

“With these stacks of papers and the sea of numbers, I’ve lost all perspective of exactly what the vehicle looks like. Let’s go to the high bay assembly building and take a look at the so-called “point mass” we are flying.”

I grinned at the engineering joke. The flight-path-planning computer program pretends the 156 foot (47 m) tall vehicle is a VERY heavy ball that is smaller than your clenched fist. It makes the flight-planning equations easier to calculate, and another department analyzes the flexibility of the true-sized vehicle.

Mikey got a gleam in his eye. “Do you have some close-toed shoes?”

I pointed toward the floor. “Under the desk, just like Tish suggested.”

Mikey smiled and replied, “OK, co-op, put on your tennis shoes and let’s go make an official visit to see the real thing.”

We were chatting animatedly as Mikey swung the heavy doors open and the warm dry slap of air announced yet another perfect sunny day in San Diego.

————————

Working with an intangible concept can be hard on the primal human brain.

Brains are more comfortable with something to touch than with numbers written on a computer screen. If I can pinch it, sniff it, and see it, I can understand what it is. I can assign a monetary value. It becomes “real” to me. And I feel a lot more relaxed.

Does your network marketing, party plan, or direct sales company have products that your clients don’t physically touch? Financial services and computer-generated physical greeting cards are two examples.

Or does the client who purchases it rarely sees the final product, because it is shipped to a third party?

If your situation fits either general case, I strongly recommend you send or give a tangible item directly to the person who’s buying your product. A product sample, a physical card of thanks, or treating them to coffee are some ideas.

You’ll be the refreshing break in the midst of an increasingly-intangible world.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #networkmarketing #partyplan #directsales #touch #rocketscience #coffee

Let it rot

“Just a friendly reminder that you [have] only 1 more day of replay access to the __________________ event videos. Replay access ends on April 6th at 8:30 am Central time. “

This message landed in my email inbox yesterday.

I don’t know about you, but I am somewhat addicted to personal development.

When I read a personal development book, I underline and make notes in the margin. (Thank goodness we can easily afford to buy the books instead of relying on the public library volumes.) When I show up in person to a training session, I am vying for the front row, or as close to the front as possible. When there’s a livestream, I watch as many sessions as I reasonably can and take handwritten notes… then quickly post a summary of the talk in our distributors-only Facebook group.

The event referenced in the email was a 3-day livestreamed seminar with more than 20 presenters. I was learning powerful insights in each of the sessions.

And I was grateful for the month-long access to the full-session recordings. The completeness of the content combined with the length of time to watch lessened my fear-of-missing-out.

And when I was just getting started in this profession, I had a significant fear of that opportunity passing me by.

Here’s how I compensated.

When I was a distributor in my first network marketing company, I let the training get out of hand. I always had another conference call, Saturday “advanced training,” or book. Goodness knows I needed lots of guidance, as I was still developing an entrepreneur’s self-discipline and body of knowledge. But I went too far.

Eventually I allowed myself to understand that I was using those tools to procrastinate from doing the scarier actions: meeting people, calling to set appointments, and asking for the sale.

When I joined my current company 10 years ago I made a decision. I would attend seminars and/or study personal development information, but at a reduced rate. I promised myself to be more honest with myself regarding procrastination. I recognized that the “shiny new object” syndrome gets activated in my brain not by new shoes or the latest technology toy, but by being easily distracted by the new or ‘scarce’ book, seminar, or training session.

And over the past decade I realized that wanting to buy and hold and renew large quantities of such information WAS a flareup of the old “I’m getting passed by” thought process.

When I received that email, I thought back through the past month. I watched about half of the sessions in real time. Then last week I took 2 chunks of time to watch the remaining recordings, knowing the one-month watching deadline was coming soon.

I was confronted with an offer in that email: pay X amount of money to have “lifetime access” to these recordings, or lose access to them forever.

I asked myself two key questions.

  1.  Did I watch and take notes on the specific sections that I was most likely to apply?
  2.  What is the likelihood I will ever watch those sessions again?

The answers:

  1. Yes.
  2. Near zero. (and do I want to ‘hoard’ those materials, even the access to them?)

I chose to let it expire. (and I will gladly register for the next year’s livestream)

Sometimes a forced purge is helpful.

This time it was best to let the offer rot.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #LetItRot #personaldevelopment #networkmarketing #residualincome #email #lifetimeaccess #twoquestions #choosyist

Postscript:

Hoarding information is one way I tried to capture the elusive “secret to success.” It’s elusive because there’s no single such secret. And I realize that feeding my brain with positive and uplifting information is the important thing.

(Yes I will hang onto many of the personal development books I read over the years. This isn’t a call to go so-called ‘minimalist.’ Perhaps it is a call to go ‘choosy-ist.’)  –LS

 

4 lessons and a 9-word question

Learning about financial concepts is crucial for building wealth and staying wealthy. Here’s what I posted on social media earlier this week:

4 Lessons Wealthy People Taught Me

1. An asset pays for itself and creates a monthly net profit.
2. When bankers say, “It’s an asset,” they mean it creates a profit for THEM.
3. Build Automatic Money Generators that don’t require your presence. (a special class of assets)
4. You are financially free when your Automatic Money Generators pay you more than you are spending.

One of my social media friends replied, “How does one create Automatic Money Generators?”

Here’s a little background. We have known each other In Real Life for nearly 10 years. She’s attended parties at our home, we attended her wedding, and we have talked numerous times in person. She’s not simply someone I met online. In the past few weeks she posted a question on social media, and when I responded mentioning a $5 solution, I received some version of “I can’t afford that.”

So I considered her situation and past reactions into my response. I wasn’t going to jump into booking a business presentation with someone who thinks $5 is too much to spend. I decided to start with some basic information and a question to gauge her level of interest.

I sent a private message: “I have just a few minutes to type right now, so this might be an incomplete answer. “Automatic Money Generators” are businesses, real estate, or other investments that generate profits for the owner every month, whether or not the owner shows up for work. The situation is otherwise known as “passive income” and always requires up-front money, energy, education (books or seminars), and time to create. (Like planting an apple tree, nurturing it until it bears fruit, and making sure someone is trimming and fertilizing the tree on an ongoing basis). Net-income producing real estate rentals, real estate tax liens, musicians who have songs on iTunes, and businesses like mine all qualify. Which one of those sounds most interesting to you?”

This launched a back-and-forth via texting, which included my recommendation of a library book to read. She loves to read, so reading a book is not stressful. Also, libraries loan books for free, so the money question is eliminated for this step.

We ended with her promise to look for that book during the library trip next week… and to let me know her opinion of it after she’s finished reading.

So now it’s in her hands.

In some ways she reminds me of a younger me.

One of my husband’s co-workers made an offhand remark about 20 years ago. She mentioned a book about finance that she liked. My husband and I didn’t have an extra $20 to buy our own copy. It was a newly-released book, so there weren’t copies available on the bookshelves of the charity resale stores in our area. We contacted the local library to put our names on the waiting list for that book, and we waited nearly 3 months for our turn to read it.

Reading those pages was a pivotal moment for our understanding of the power of leverage and the differences between self-employment and business systems.

When there’s a will, there’s a way. We waited for then read (I mean devoured) that book and others written by that author. If she’s truly interested in elevating her financial situation, she will find that book and read it quickly. I will discover if she is “coachable” by what she does in this situation.

The next move is hers. Her actions will reveal whether she is ready to move from dreaming to taking action toward a more prosperous future.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #patience #coachable #4lessonsanda9wordquestion #financialknowledge #books

Everyone is watching the prophet

A social media post caught my eye today.

It asked a long-standing question, which I will summarize: If you see a celebrity marketing a new item and you buy it… why do you say No to a friend doing the same? After all, you don’t know the celebrity and she/he certainly has plenty of money already.

It’s the struggle of being what is called “a prophet in your own town.”

Consider that your parents, siblings, cousins, and friends already know you.

That’s supposed to be an advantage, right?

Well, sometimes it is. And sometimes not.

They know you… but in a particular role. You’re their family member or friend, but you are also a stay-at-home parent, insurance agent, nurse, accountant, or police officer. They feel comfortable seeing you in that role. And they’re used to seeing you relate to the working world in that manner.

They may subconsciously be asking themselves, “Why is this person changing? I didn’t know they had a burning love for (product). And they can barely pay the bills— so why should I believe ANYTHING they tell me about making big money?”

Perhaps you are one of the fortunate ones who already is making lots of money in your current line of work. Your family members and friends might be more willing to listen, since you already seem to have “a good head” about making money. Then again, maybe not.

When I joined my first Network Marketing company in 1996, I approached my extended family members first, just like I was trained to do by my sponsor. All but one said No, and several of them were downright mean in their comments. I felt angry and embarrassed when I reported my lack of progress in the next training meeting. And the next. And the next.

Sometimes it is easier to go where no one knows you.

If your situation is similar to what I experienced, concentrate on meeting and building relationships with business people who don’t know you. They won’t have a preconceived notion of who you are supposed to CONTINUE being.

When I joined my current company I said very little to my extended family, but I joined and concentrated on people I met in a weekly business referrals group.

You can do the same. Attend business networking groups and meet other entrepreneurs and decision-makers. Your local Chamber of Commerce is a good place to begin. Stay in touch by wishing your new acquaintances congratulations, happy new year, happy birthday, or passing along a tip about their profession or hobby. These actions build trust and visibility.

By the way, when people say No, they continue watching.

They’re watching to see if you are in this for the long term.

Be businesslike. Be committed to building, at the pace that is right for you.

It’s tempting to buy things you can’t afford, simply to “look successful.” It’s a trap. Please avoid it.

Simply keep taking business building actions, and some of the doubters will turn into believers.

And they will brag about your product, as if they were one of your earliest supporters.

Let them. And smile all the way to the bank.

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #prophet #everyoneiswatchingtheprophet #networkmarketing #longtermcommittment #business #looksuccessful #money #bigmoney #residualincome #bank #smileallthewaytothebank #socialmedia #smile

How to recover from a fumble

During my first year of business, I was walking up the stairs and through the hallways of our apartment complex when I saw a neighbor named Steve pacing the floor. As I stepped closer I saw he was crying and looked frightened.

I stopped in my tracks and asked what was happening.

His reply: “I did something really stupid. I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS! Last night I was out with friends and had a few drinks at the restaurant. I was offered a ride but decided to drive home. At the stoplight I stopped a few feet past the limit line, but not into the crosswalk, you know what I mean?”

I nodded in understanding.

“Well, a cop saw that and gave me a Breathalyzer test… which registered barely above the legal alcohol limit. He took away my license and now I have to appear in court. I’m scared that the judge will make me serve jail time, and then I’ll lose custody of my son.”

Steve was newly divorced and had custody of his teenage son Paul, who recently earned his own driver’s license.

I waited for more, letting my look of concern fill in for any words.

He shook his head side to side, tears welling in his eyes. “Do you know the worst thing about this? It’s that I have to face my boy. I’ve blown being a good role model for him. I hate that!”

I broke my silence, the concern evident on my face.

“Steve, everyone messes up. And yes, this is a big one. But– the more important lesson you will demonstrate to Paul is how you handle the repercussions. He will be watching how you handle this. Will you stomp around and call the cop nasty names? Will you spend many hours and lots of energy wallowing in the mistake? Will you try to wiggle out of any public service or other sentence you are handed?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I can understand the woulda-shoulda-coulda mindset. And right now this is new, it’s raw, so some of that is understandable. And frankly, Paul SHOULD hear how remorseful you are, how much you regret doing it… up to a point.”

“Remember that everyone messes up, Steve. I mess up plenty in my business. I’m still in my first year, so I’m learning a lot. I say the wrong thing in presentations, I bungle orders, I miss meetings because I wrote them on the wrong day on my schedule. Nothing that would get me in legal trouble, though.”

That gained a wan smile.

“My point is, everyone messes up. But the difference is How We Recover. When I mess up, I offer a sincere and immediate apology. I ask my client, ‘How can I make this right?’ I also have to accept if my client, or potential client, doesn’t want to do business with me because my stumbling killed their sense of trust. I don’t have any control over their reaction. All I can do is offer amends and strive to do better.”

I silently added, For me, it’s worth going through those rough spots in order to get to the long-term destination: building a substantial residual income stream.

“In your case, if you handle your court appearance and hours of public service with a remorseful yet willing attitude, that will make a big impression on your son. He is learning that people mess up, and the mistake of a child can have severe legal consequences when done as an adult. And he can learn from you how to handle this like an adult. Including how to be remorseful yet forgive oneself.”

Steve was gradually calming down, and at the end he nodded at me, lips pressed together in determination. “OK, that’s what I will do. I will face this like a man and hope my son learns NOT to do what I did to get in trouble. I will certainly talk to him about getting a ride when having drinks, if there is the slightest doubt of being under the alcohol limit.”

Whenever I mess up with a client, or a company fumbles their end of a transaction with me, I think about that conversation with Steve.

I try to give the benefit of the doubt, within reason. I remember the humanity of the person I’m dealing with. I give them a chance to make things right again. And I do my best to do a good job in the first place, then to let go of any long-term destructive remorse.

“It’s not about not messing up, it’s in how we recover.”

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #alcohol #howtorecover #remorse #networkmarketing #mlm #partyplan #residualincome #coaching

 

 

How to preserve your voice during cold season

During my high school years, late January and early February were anxiety-provoking. That was the time for the state-wide singing competitions, with state finals held at the Butler University School of Music in central Indiana, USA.

We spent many hours practicing our songs, beginning just after New Year’s Day. The contest performance rules would NOT allow sheet music, so we had to memorize every word and nuance of the music. It was a challenge to keep up with the pace of practices and avoid contracting laryngitis.

That also was the midst of wintertime cold and influenza season, with lots of coughing and blowing of noses. The temptation is to clear one’s throat with a harsh sound, but that bangs the vocal cords together, which is detrimental for one’s singing (and speaking) voice.

Our music director gave us a valuable tip: if you have the urge to clear your throat before singing or talking, swallow quickly twice in a row. It might still FEEL like your throat is coated, but your voice will be clear when you speak or sing moments later.

Try it. I think you’ll like it.

The two-fast-swallows technique is also useful for public speaking, especially if you are using a microphone! Throat-clearing is a harsh sound to begin with, and your audience’s ears will thank you for avoiding it.

Use this technique to keep up your usual pace of networking meetings, business presentations, and new distributor trainings. Your team will be grateful!

–LYnn Selwa, “The Rocket Science Coach” ™

#lynnselwa #therocketsciencecoach #networkmarketing #mlm #partyplan #residualincome #voice #clearingthroat #swallowtwice #publicspeaking #speakingtipforcoldseason #speakingtip #preserveyourvoiceduringcoldseason